High off insanity

Before I learned how to ride a bike I learned how to pump my blood with adrenaline

Getting high off of my insanity,

At 10 years old I picked up a knife that I still haven’t put down,

I hold it to my wrist, waiting for the day I lose my mind

Diagnosing myself with unknown diseases hoping they’ll find a cure

I’m sitting on a swing embracing the feeling of falling over and over and over and over again

Stuffing every minute with meaningless smiles, curious if you’ll catch on,

Missing one meal, two meal, three meal more

Dancing to the rhythm of your hands grasping whatever’s on sale,

But the clearance rack is empty

Bruises on the inside of my legs I won’t tell you to stop

I don’t know how to stop

Bleeding out all the saturation that once fed my imagination, I now dream in black and white

-Shealyn Shea Lyn