I chose you all

Stubbed toe rode feels like home

It’s going to the shitter

It’s getting distracted by the need to tell you how pretty you are

A drunk selfie later discovered

Sharing the blanket

Long trips, long silences followed by screaming your head off, ass out

It’s intimacy without the kissing

Or how you love hugging them

How it could never end

Wanting to fuck you with them or them with you, maybe that could be involved somehow or  or I could just watch,

actually let’s just take a bath and I’ll wash your back

It’s a skater boy cosplaying as a girl boss accompanied by a manic goblin

being hyped up by his gays dads

It is not talking and non stop talking

It’s dressing up, doing makeup, causing chaos, knowing the look for exactly when to leave, forgetinng to take the makeup off, slowly undressing, staying up till 5am and sleeping with the backs of hands touching

It can be fighting because y’all are so damn worth it, your worth overcoming my fears, your worthy of me trying to be better than our parents

Its accountability, its boundaries, it’s pls and thank you, it’s real it’s raw

It’s spitting on you while you call me pathetic

Its laughing with dildos in hand

Its sharing food, Making fun of tv shows we can’t seem to stop watching

It’s whispering an annoying song in your ear, it’s seeing me laugh cry

It’s crying, or maybe just talking about how I want to cry with you

Applying sunscreen on your back

Staying up until I’m sure your ok

Sending you silly texts I think you’ll enjoy

Listening to your voice memos and saving them for who knows

Checking that your feet are in your bed after you worked all night

Heating up a can of soup or buying your favorite, hot Cheetos, breakfast essentials and a green pepper

You are the shitty feeling that comes with saying goodbye

7 days a week and twice on Sunday i pray

The sounds are bright and the colors are loud

I never feel like I get to choose,

but I chose to be with you all

And I’ve finally learned to love my family

-Shealyn Shea Lyn